So, I was asked to post up the traits I look for in Women since I keep mentioning on the show. These are the traits that I look for, and what attracts me to a girl. Some guys may not agree with all of these. Some guys have told me I just described their perfect 10.
I don’t concentrate on physical traits like beauty, how she dresses, or the “classic” breast size. I don’t really care about physical traits, and that is also a completely different topic.
While we can agree that some physical attraction has to be present, the real question is what traits really hook a guy? When asked what she is like, is he at a loss for words to describe her?
Do you ever wonder how it is some girls can catch a guy’s attention no matter where she is? For some girls, these traits are natural to their personality. For others, they are learned over time.
Over the years of going out with lots of different women, I have narrowed down what I look for. Just to answer the question, yes. This is the list of what I look for in a girl, in no particular order. I have my version of a perfect 10 clearly defined. Some may find that creepy, or weird, but for me, I know exactly what I’m looking for. It’s true no person will have every single trait, but they can get close enough.
As for my top four, uh, that’s a secret. Since this is published, I don’t want anyone trying to win me over by hitting all of my “must-haves.”
So, with that let’s take a look at these in no particular order.
Just like girls like a guy with confidence, guys want a confident woman. Guys don’t want a meek little mouse who talks in a whisper or hides under 8 layers of clothing. They want a girl who will talk confidently and walk upright. She can say what she means without sugar-coating it. She will help a guy understand his mistakes. I rather a bullet to the head than five to the chest because she tried to spare my feelings.
A girl who is uptight and timid might be a challenge to some guys. But, for most, it’s exhausting to try to get her to open up. We want a girl who lets her hair down and has fun. Now and then we want the girl to be able to say “Fuck what the world thinks, I’m going to do I want.” She can border on the reckless to see what life has to offer.
This on my list because most girls my own age do not have this. This trait dovetails with an adventurous side already mentioned. When a girl shows she has a childish streak and can get excited about small things, or grabs hold of him at a scary movie is endearing and lovable. This is the girl who walks into a club and wants to dance and mingle, not fade into a corner, and sip a mojito. A high energy girl can create magic wherever she is at.
A girl who dumbs herself down is a deal-breaker for me. I don’t go out with stupid people. You’re smart, show it off. Teach me something I don’t know, improve my life. A man of value will not be intimidated by how smart you are.
Respect For Yourself
This one is a bit hard to describe. The general concept is you have a set of boundaries for yourself. You will not let a guy treat you like a doormat. Constant compromises are a weak trait. I prefer a girl who can put her foot down and say no. Someone who has standards is someone whom I can take seriously.
Just like girls like a mysterious guy, the trait works in reverse. It’s this trait that helps with the chase we all play. You want to reveal a little bit about yourself each time you meet. Don’t show everything all at once to try to impress me. Simply put, I don’t want to read her like a romance novel where I know what’s coming in the next chapter.
Yes, guys like a girl with a sense of humor. For me, her humor has to align with my own. However, the concept is that she isn’t afraid to laugh and play along with silly games. It’s a little bit of that childish streak mixed with some flirty behavior.
This is my personal favorite. When the relationship is moving along she isn’t shy of letting me know she is into me, wherever we are. She’ll cling to my arm while walking, she’ll slide up behind me and wrap her arms around me, or just give me a flirty shoulder nudge. She’s a fun, alluring, sexy talker, and can seduce me without making her intentions obvious. She can get any guy hard without touching him. It’s the ultimate power play in my list where she is telling me, and the world, “I choose you.”
Drama happens. We get that. It’s fun to watch on TV, but we don’t want it in our lives every day. The gossip, emotional conversations over who said what and impulsive decisions are exhausting. A girl who is calm and relaxed while being able to navigate trouble is more attractive. The basic concept here is that she doesn’t need to conform to the whims of the crowd. She’s the slight misfit that everyone else wants to be like.
This isn’t a romantic passion. This is the passion she has for her career, a worthy cause, or a hobby. It shows me she wants something more out of life. It shows me she is driven to work for a goal and hasn’t just settled for whatever landed in her path.
Yes, women like men to be decisive. However, we also value your input and tire of always having to plan things out. When we ask which store is better and we get “Whatever you feel is best” or “I don’t care, you decide” isn’t actually helpful. We want a partner in our life, not arm candy.
Comfortable With Her Beauty
I got this when I was a fashion photographer. Some may think this is the same as confidence, it’s not. Body issues almost require a separate category. I’ve met women who will not, do not, cannot see themselves as beautiful. When they look at themselves in the mirror, they highly exaggerate what they see as flaws. Looks do play a role, but it’s not as important as being comfortable in your own body. When she has this trait, the next trait becomes even better.
Uninhibited About Sex
A woman who can openly admit she enjoys sex and views it as a natural thing between a man and a woman. She knows what she likes and is willing to explore new things with her partner. She isn’t prudish. She is willing to experiment and try or suggest, something new to keep things exciting.
This is the top of my list. A woman who is happy with herself and life. She simply radiates gladness and joy and brings a smile to my face whenever I think of her. A woman who accepts and loves herself and has more good days than bad. It’s the single most attractive quality she can possibly possess. She doesn’t need a man to complete her. He just enhances her life by letting her share her journey with someone. This is the girl who doesn’t wait for prince charming to walk in and fix her problems. She goes into the world and fixes what she wants.
So, there you have it, ladies. That is the mysterious list I keep referring to in the show. Some of these may be highly obvious, some you may have never even thought a guy looks for. And, no, I’m still not going to give up my top four.