Ashley and her 14 traits

My impossible standards and why I won’t budge.

If you listen to the show, you know I’m extremely monogamous. It has gotten to the point where I pretty much only date to marry, which I know seems crazy, but you all know I’m not exactly the pillar of mental health. When you perpetually look for a mate, you have to know exactly what you are looking and you can’t waste time on anyone who doesn’t match up. According to John’s admission, he doesn’t mind if you don’t have all 14, especially if you have his “core four”.

I’m more of a majority rules type gal, so 11 out of 14 is a must. I know it sounds ridiculous, but you should have high standards when it comes to your heart. You can’t just go giving it away to the first person who gives you attention or smiles pretty, protecting yourself emotionally is the most important thing you can do when it comes to being in a relationship. While relationships may “complete” you, it isn’t in a literal sense. “Completing you” simply means that they help you see the other side of your thoughts, actions, and consequences. You are responsible for you, no one else.

Don’t ever date anyone who wants control of your happiness.

Okay, enough rambling from me, my list of 14 traits goes as follows:

Ashley and her 14 traits

14. Fearless

This is the least important trait simply because being fearless takes a lot of effort. I have a propensity for being extremely reckless with my actions, so dating someone who is completely fearless might also enable my irrational ideas. It is nice to be able to jump out of a plane with someone, but getting caught up in an investment scheme kind of sucks so…fearless isn’t extremely important, but it’s always wonderful to have in a mate.

Ashley's 14 outgoing

13. Outgoing

When you listen to us, you will notice that John and I are on the opposite ends of the shy spectrum. So it’s natural to assume that I would want someone who is just as outgoing as I am, but it’s not super important.
I love entertaining people, but sometimes I just want to come home and sit in silence. Coming home to a mate who tells me all the plans they’ve made for the week will burn me out and force an entire system shutdown. When I do go out though, I don’t want someone who I have to constantly check on, so while being outgoing is awesome…being able to stay home is just as important.

Ashley's 14 believe in forever

12. Believers In Forever

You’d think with all the sappy crap I spew that this would be higher on the list, but it can’t be. I’m in my late 20’s and by now, most of the people in my target demographic have met their one who got away. Losing that person completely destroys your idea that everything lasts. Even I struggle with the idea of a relationship lasting forever. It’s unfair for me to hold my significant other to that standard. While it’ll be nice to meet someone who hasn’t felt loves horrible sting, it’s unrealistic.

Warning: The next 11 traits are mandatory, in no particular order.

Ashley's 14 be polite

11. Polite

There is nothing worse than bad manners, if you don’t understand please and thank you…I’ll want to punch you in the face. Being polite includes: Treating a wait-staff as if they are humans, returning carts to a cart return, saying PLEASE AND THANK YOU, leaving tips, just common decency.

Ashley's 14 flexible

10. Flexible

My schedule changes a lot, you have to be okay with that.

Ashley's 14 emotionally available

9. Emotionally Available

Still, stuck on someone? Not my problem, figure it out.

Ashley's 14 employed

8. Employed

I work hard, I expect the same from you.

Ashley's 14 open minded

7. Open-minded

I like trying new things, I like going to weird places. If you want to live in a Groundhogs day life, go for it.

Ashley's 14 open minded

6. Bold

Have your own opinions, you’re not my doormat.

Ashley's 14 bold

5. Patient

I have a lot of emotional issues, some days are worse than others.

Ashley's 14 patient

4. Intelligent

I have to be able to have an intelligent conversation with you.

Ashley's 14 intelligent

3. Realistic

Sometimes, I lose connection with reality, I need someone who doesn’t.

Ashley's 14 realistic

2. Funny

Match my type of humor or GTFO

Ashley's 14 funny

1. Understanding

Look, the worst part about dating me is that I am emotional, so dealing with me isn’t always fun or easy. ALSO, I tend to put my foot in my mouth, so you gotta understand that I never intentionally mean to harm someone with my words.

All-in-all I’m looking for someone who matches my energy, lifestyle, and crazy. While I’m 85% sure I’m with that person right now, I’d still like the whole world to know my type in case I go back on the market.