Child Marriage – Help The Kids Say No.

Girls Ask Guys Show Podcast
Girls Ask Guys Show Podcast

Hosts:

John Newport and Ashley Sanders

Guests

No Guests For This Episode.

Resources

No resources for this episode.

Correction:

In the episode we mentioned only two states had banned child marriage. We need to correct that number to six (6) states. These states are: Delaware, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Minnesota, Rhode Island and New York. As of Aug. 17, 2021 North Carolina is set to pass a law limiting child marriage.

https://www.forbes.com/sites/graisondangor/2021/08/17/north-carolina-is-poised-to-ban-marriage-for-14and-15-year-olds-but-most-states-still-allow-child-marriage/?sh=6dd605071c42

The Following States Have No Statutory Minimum Child Marriage Age:

California, Idaho, Maine, Massachusetts, Michigan, Mississippi, New Mexico, Oklahoma, Rhode Island, Washington, West Virginia, and Wyoming

When a statutory minimum is not declared by a state, most states conclude that age 12 (for girls) and 14 (for boys) is the minimum age still applies as recognized by common law.
States Make New Push To Curb Child Marriage
America’s Most Archaic Law – Child Marriage
Massachusetts Trial Court Law Libraries (1854 Case  Parton v. Hervey Common Law Age)

Transcript:

Dani States  0:01  

Let’s be honest; there’s no guidebook when it comes to relationships. We end up having to stumble through life trying to figure things out for ourselves. What if there was a podcast that found the answers for you? That provided insight to build a successful relationship and ultimately find that companionship you’ve always hoped for? Welcome to the Girls Ask Guys Show, where we answer the questions most people are afraid to ask when it comes to lessons in life and love. It’s time to master this thing called life together with your hosts, John and Ashley.

 

Ashley Sanders  0:37  

And welcome back to the girls sky show. My name is Ashley. I’m here with john. And guess what, we are your guides to dating relationships, avoiding terrible child brides, and doing all kinds of cool things. And today, we’re going to bring you a part three-ish when we talk about child marriage.

 

John Newport  0:57  

Child marriage, this is something that I stumbled across a while back, and it blew my mind, especially because it’s still happening today. Around the world, the latest estimate is over 15 million children are being married around the world. And based on the feedback that we got off our last episode on this, a lot of people wanted even more information on this. So that’s what we’re going to do; we’re going to be bringing some more information; we’re gonna be targeting a little bit more on the United States because that’s the information that I have sitting directly in front of me. However, we do have some information from worldwide.

 

Ashley Sanders  1:40  

Yeah. So I think the first thing we should do is start with a brief history of child marriage. So this way that we can tell people sort of where this tradition comes from, in some of these grocer laws and uncomfortable stories. What do you think?

 

John Newport  1:55  

Yeah, sounds good to me.

 

Ashley Sanders  1:56  

Okay, cool.

 

John Newport  1:57  

So the traditional, or the traditional child marriage, it’s changed over time, obviously, because we do have a lot of the current norm for, at least to U.S. is 18 is the legal age of consent or the legal age of marriage. But if you go further back, like we talked in the last episode that we had, that that really wasn’t established, it was pretty much if you were able to go out and earn a living build a house, you were of legal age.

 

Ashley Sanders  2:30  

Yeah. Now other societies. Remember, marriage is one of those essential characteristics that was an exchange of property between people. So it wasn’t necessarily as weird because people weren’t marrying necessarily for love as much as they were to solidify their wealth, or they were marrying to solidify kingdoms or anything like this. So even when it came to some creepy old man marrying a younger woman, they would usually not be forced in the way that we’re thinking force in the traditional sense. And usually, that older man would probably have an older lover that was like a maid in or something, and that younger woman would have a lover that was like a house boy, or whatever. But when we talk about child marriage, in this case, in the United States, we’re talking something very toxic, very weird, and very uncomfortable.

 

John Newport  3:21  

It’s actually very destructive, which is something we’re gonna be getting into; we’re gonna get into some of the psychology and medical problems that happen with child marriage. But before we get into that, we want to talk about, when you look at ancient times, you look at the marriages, like Ashley was talking about between the Middle Ages, like ancient Rome and stuff like that, girls, they were eligible to be married at the discretion of their families. And it was usually at the time around when puberty started. That’s when marriage was legal, according to their thought processes back then. But it gets even stranger. Enter the Roman Catholic Church, the Catholic regulation back then. They’re the ones that outlawed polygamy, incest, adultery, and they are the ones that declared non-marital children illegitimate. And ineligible to inherit any kind of property, which diminish the importance of parental consent. Everything went to the church, and the church would actually allow marriages as young as 12 years old.

 

Ashley Sanders  4:35  

Yeah, see, that’s super weird. And it’s weird because it seems like for a religion based on this godly idea, what they were really doing was eliminating the concept of consent, which is super important in any relationship and not just consent in the way of what the girl or what the little boy wanted. It’s like what the parents want to do to so they really got to hold by outlawing all of these things, and they really did kind of screw people over in the way that now it doesn’t matter how old or how young you are, as long as your kids are legitimate, you’re good. It doesn’t matter how old your partner is or anything.

 

John Newport  5:14  

Yeah. What I found interesting is that for boys, the minimum age was 14. For girls, it was 12. I was like, okay, there’s a disconnect there, right off the bat.

 

Ashley Sanders  5:25  

Yeah, it really is a disconnect.

 

John Newport  5:27  

It gets even weirder.

 

Ashley Sanders  5:29  

The weirdest part about this is that 12, especially back in those days, girls weren’t even menstruating. I mean, like, now with all the hormones in the food, they’re saying women were menstruating earlier, but they were literally little girls, and so to say, Oh, hey, you barely popped out of the womb, it’s time for you to get married. It’s very misogynistic and very uncomfortable.

 

John Newport  5:49  

Well, it was kind of like that idiot that we covered a few episodes back who had mathematically mapped out that 30 you’re already a grandmother; that show is still rather disturbing.

 

Ashley Sanders  6:02  

Ugh, yeah.

 

John Newport  6:03  

But then another reformation came about; there was another revolution that took place. And that’s the Protestant Reformation that took over marital regulations, that entire religious segment took over. And it was to stop young couples from marrying and passing on family property without parental approval. So we had parental consent, parental consent was removed, and then parental consent was put back in. Your mind is going to be a little bit of a noodle by the time we’re done here. But it voided marriages by individuals who were under the age of 21, who lacked parental consent. And this reinforced the centrality of the institution of marriage, through which the family’s controlled property and wealth. And really, what we’re looking at back then is the monarchies; we’re going to balance everything out, we’re going to protect the monarchies from passing wealth without parental consent.

 

Ashley Sanders  7:04  

Yeah, that’s, you know, it’s weird because both sides of this are absolutely terrible. Like, I get the whole idea of wanting to give more power or making sure that the money stays in the family. But what it does is it stops people from marrying for love, and it keeps people marrying for power. The other one stops people from being allowed to accumulate wealth if they do anything, quote, unquote, wrong in their marriage. So we’re looking at two kinds of polar opposite ideas that just are both super weird and controlling. And it really throws me off a lot.

 

John Newport  7:37  

It was during that Protestant Reformation, where we see where Europe itself placed the age of majority as the legal term at which an individual is considered a legal adult, which back then, according to the Protestant Reformation, was 21. So we’re looking at something that happened in ancient times, which has been established in the United States because 21 that’s when you can vote in federal elections, that’s when you’re able to drink. Let’s see, at least in the area that I live in; you have to be 21 to buy cigarettes now. That’s the legal age of majority. Now you can be prosecuted as an adult at 18. But really, all of your rights are not established until you’re 21.

 

Ashley Sanders  8:22  

Yeah, it’s very true. And I think that’s very funny, because a lot of our laws here, especially our marital laws, are based off those English common marital laws. And it’s really funny to see because you’re right at 21, you’re allowed to drink, you’re allowed to smoke. But at 18, you can vote, you can go to war, but you can’t drink and smoke. And it’s very interesting, the dichotomy of what people believe makes you an adult.

 

John Newport  8:46  

Yeah. And that’s that gray area that we kind of touched on back in the last episode, where there’s this divider line, at this age, you are an adult, and at this age, you are not, but then we have this gap between you’re an adult but not really. You’re like a minor adult. But at 21. Now you’re a full adult; it’s that gray zone, that fuzzy area of when somebody is a child and when somebody is not.

 

Ashley Sanders  9:15  

Yeah. And it’s so weird. It’s just very weird.

 

John Newport  9:19  

As Ashley was saying, yeah, the English common law is the one that started to revolve around parental consent, as opposed to a strict age minimum for marriage. And we take a look at the ease in which couples can enter into marriages and the presumption of favor and validity and all this other stuff that came into it, where there was legal side and the non-compliance with formalities, the delegations of gatekeeping functions. All this stuff really started becoming more and more complex with U.S. laws. The characteristics of the early common laws, English common laws that were preserved for the American legal system, which, as we can see, is kind of fucked up when it comes to child marriage.

 

Ashley Sanders  10:09  

Yeah, like seriously, it really is kind of fucked up. And you know, the fucked up part is we’ve followed these English laws, like the marital laws, and they gave the parents the ability to police their kids until their a certain age, which is fine. But the problem is, and I’m going a little off-topic, there are so many loopholes.

 

John Newport  10:28  

Oh, yes. Yeah, the loopholes…

 

Ashley Sanders  10:29  

Like you can’t even begin to police these people.

 

John Newport  10:34  

The differences between different states and the legal age of consent, or the legal age of marriage, in each state is different. Every state has its own exceptions. And there is no real federal oversight. Well, the federal government, for Christ’s sake, allows people that go to another country, marry a minor there, and because it’s legal there, they recognize it here. So there’s that loophole by itself. But when you get into the actual United States and marrying a minor within the borders, or even within its territories, everything is different. So there’s no real way of keeping it normalized. And saying, This is what we stand for. Versus Okay, well, we’ll just turn our heads and pretend it’s not happening.

 

Ashley Sanders  11:24  

Right. Absolutely. I agree—100%. And the problem is like, because we have all these weird things that happened, like the states rights and, I guess states rights aren’t weird, but because we have states rights and all of those things, while the age of consent stayed, you know, basically the same. The problem is unless it’s trending, like, as we go through some of these states, and we talk about it, unless it’s something that’s a hot topic, it’s just completely overlooked. Because people are weird, and they go to places where they know they can get away with it.

 

John Newport  11:54  

Exactly. And that’s what that guy that we were that we covered a few episodes back. That’s what he was saying; he had already mapped out where he could go in order to marry a minor. He already knew the states that he had visit in order to get that done, which should not happen.

 

Ashley Sanders  12:11  

I don’t get it.

 

John Newport  12:12  

Yeah, I don’t get it. But marital age of consent laws…

 

Ashley Sanders  12:15  

It’s crazy.

 

John Newport  12:15  

In every state, non-compliant marriages were generally extended some legal recognition. And the judges themselves increasingly expanded their power and relaxed their evidence as far as requirements that needed to be shown. And that’s where you get your common-law marriages. And there are some states that still do have common law marriage; there was a buddy of mine, he lived with his girlfriend, they lived together for seven years, and one day, it showed up in the mail marriage license. I was like, Okay, I didn’t realize they tracked people that closely. But yeah, they were common-law married. Common-Law marriages are extremely rare nowadays.

 

Ashley Sanders  13:00  

I think that’s a good thing, though. Because common law marriage is way, or it’s not a good thing for the individual, it’s a good thing for the state. Because if you’re technically married, you can get on the person’s insurance, you can do all these things. And I think the reason they put that stop to common law marriage is because some people may not want to commit to each other, but they’re like, Hey, listen, insurance seems good, you know, whatever you’d like. It seems like more of a convenience and a better way to be able to just kind of get shit done without having to worry about a commitment.

 

John Newport  13:27  

Yeah. But also, you take a look at a lot of people nowadays, they live together, but they aren’t boyfriend, girlfriend, there is no romantic relationship. It just makes economical sense. And matter of fact, I know a couple they’ve been living together for the last ten years. They’re not romantic with each other. They both have different people that they see. But they share the same place because it makes economical sense for them. They both work at the same place, and they make rather good money. They’re saving their money. If we still had common law marriage, they would be legally married and have no interest in each other.

 

Ashley Sanders  14:05  

Yeah, I think it does. Yeah, you’re right. It does give you that freedom to where they cut common law. Because Yeah, like you said, it does make financial sense. I mean, rent is not the same as it was 20 years ago.

 

John Newport  14:16  

Oh, New York itself.

 

Ashley Sanders  14:17  

Nowadays, it’s basically impossible.

 

John Newport  14:20  

Yeah. So despite these irregularities going country-wide, the universe age of majority in the United States remained at 21 until the end of World War Two. So we’re looking at 1945. And Congress was actually prompted to lower the age to 18. And the act that contained that provision that explicitly permitted marriages below 18, with parental and judicial consent. Hello, Congress. Thank you for that. And your foresight into thinking about we probably should just leave it at 18 and leave that a universal federal law.

 

Ashley Sanders  14:58  

And it’s really that simple; I get the concept of states rights. I really do. But certain things just need to be done at a federal level. No, you cannot marry a child. I don’t know why. And no, there’s no loopholes.

 

John Newport  15:11  

Right, just over the years since 1945, the age of consent laws consistently prioritize parental control over marriages instead of elevating child protection. Because back in the 1940s, you’re talking extremely rural areas, communication was either radio or an archaic telephone system, or you got it through print because not everybody can afford a television back then televisions were still – hell, color television didn’t come into existence till the 1960s. And they were more of upper class, if you didn’t belong to the upper class, you had a radio, and hopefully, you could actually tune into one station.

 

Ashley Sanders  15:53  

Right.

 

John Newport  15:53  

But back then, they still regulated to the parents. And a lot of people thought, at 16, 15, 14 perfectly fine. And the states went along with what the populace believed instead of looking at what actually protects the children because back then. At the same time, it was still rare; parents would actually marry off their sons or primarily their daughters to pay off debt. Yeah, sure. You like my daughter; you’ll solve my $15,000 debt, which back then is close to $150,000 today. Sure, take my daughter. Our debt is now solved.

 

Ashley Sanders  16:31  

Right, exactly. And it’s not uncommon. It really wasn’t uncommon. And even now, when I think about it, the concept of marry your daughter off is absolutely barbaric. But if at least if you wait until she’s 19, 20, can make the decision herself, you could still find her a suitor, or you can find your son a suitor that they enjoy that they like and still have the same thing happen. The problem is the forced part of it. I think we should jump into like the rates of child marriages. I don’t know if you want to start with those.

 

John Newport  17:00  

Yeah, let’s go ahead and tackle that part. Because this is going – if you thought our last show was disturbing. Here are some numbers that were recorded by UNICEF. Yes, UNICEF, that great big huge organization that goes out and tries to help underprivileged kids in different countries. Okay. According to their numbers, the child marriage rates around the globe, we’re looking at 15 million girls were married before their 18th birthday. Now take that. And that is 41,000 child brides per day. The size of a small city are married.

 

Ashley Sanders  17:42  

It’s disgusting. I don’t; I guess I have a hard time understanding. Why. Why in the fuck. Do we have this number? And we know the fucking number. And we do nothing to change these fucking loopholes.

 

John Newport  17:58  

Yeah, we’ll go after pedophiles will go after human trafficking will declare war on drugs. But we cannot stop this. That makes absolutely no sense. We’ll dump billions…

 

Ashley Sanders  18:11  

By the way, Drugs are winning the war.

 

John Newport  18:13  

Yeah, that’s happened since Nixon. I think Nixon is the one that declared war on drugs. So since Nixon, we have dumped billions of dollars, trillions of dollars into the war on drugs. And we are consistently losing. I just saw an episode, a documentary about a teenager who started a drug empire online. And he ran it for almost ten years. They found a ton. We see news stories about oh, we found 1000 kilos. No, they found a ton of drugs in his bedroom. But we have one in nine girls around the world are married before their age 15.

 

Ashley Sanders  19:00  

Exactly.

 

John Newport  19:01  

That’s 650 million women and girls today are married before they even turn 18 years old. 650 million.

 

Ashley Sanders  19:11  

That’s so many children. That’s over – that number. I’m speechless.

 

John Newport  19:19  

How many cities is that? I mean that that’s larger than what there’s 6 million, 9 million in New York City. So we would have to take the population of Los Angeles, Chicago, Dallas, Fort Worth, Houston…

 

Ashley Sanders  19:34  

Probably Miami.

 

John Newport  19:35  

Miami, and combine those, and we still wouldn’t come up with 650 million. We’d have to toss in some other cities here. And if you think it’s just girls, no, no, no, no. That also includes boys. It’s just that boys are in less demand. But one in 30 get married before their age 18. That’s 115 million.

 

Ashley Sanders  19:57  

That’s still a lot of people.

 

John Newport  19:59  

And if you take the total number of child brides and child grooms and combine those together, that’s 765 million children.

 

Ashley Sanders  20:07  

That’s, I mean, it just it seems like I understand it’s a global number. I understand that is not an entire population of one country or one continent. But at the same time, that’s over half a billion children, not like adults, not people who get to choose to be married. We’re talking children who are being forced into marriage because they want to pay off the parents that their parents are perverts. Someone else is a pervert or anything like that. And to me, that means we’re dealing with over half a billion perverts.

 

John Newport  20:44  

Yeah. Now, we said we’re going to talk about the U.S., 41 states. Okay, this is just 41 states where marriage licenses were examined. So this isn’t some kind of made-up number. This isn’t where they went out and interviewed people. No, they looked at the documents from the state; the marriage licenses themselves 41 states. Now, there’s only two states that say there is no exceptions. 18 is the minimum; there is no exception to this. But out of 41 states, 200,000 minors were married between 2000 and 2015. 87% of that 200,000 were girls, 13% were boys.

 

Ashley Sanders  21:27  

That’s just so many.

 

John Newport  21:31  

11.96% of women were married as minors in the United States before they were 18. 8.9% of all men in the United States were married before they were 18.

 

Ashley Sanders  21:45  

I will say this; I will only say this that some people do choose to get married at about 17. And that’s more of like a war Appalachia kind of thing. And it’s consensual; these people are already basically adults like they’ve dropped out of school. And I don’t mean to categorize Appalachia by any means. This is something throughout the world or the country perse. But they’ve dropped out of school; they have full-time jobs, they live on their own, they’re emancipated. That is completely different than the concept of people who are literally being forced to be married, who are children.

 

John Newport  22:20  

Right. And here’s the driving factors. So if you’re wondering, how in the world can this possibly happen? Well, there are certain driving factors that have a high prevalence for child marriage. Some of that includes gender equality, cultural tradition, poverty, and economic social insecurity. You put these together, and that is the fuel that sustains this practice worldwide.

 

Ashley Sanders  22:47  

Yeah, I get it. I mean, I really do. I get that there’s different cultures and different cultures, have different ideas, what it means to be married, I understand that. But there comes a time where you look at a child who really doesn’t want to do something, and you say, fuck my culture, I would rather protect my child, then continue these absurd cultural practices that are really damaging these kids, because, in a lot of those cultures, they can’t get divorced.

 

John Newport  23:17  

Oh, yeah. The only kind of divorced there is, well, it’s in the vows themselves till death do us part, which we’re going to be getting into.

 

Ashley Sanders  23:25  

Right.

 

John Newport  23:26  

But these factors, when you look at it, and the patriarchal values that are put in place, are a large emphasis placed on controlling the sexuality and the virginity of their daughters and compound that with social and economic profits that accompany child marriages. Instead of paying me $5,000 per goat, you can pay me $50,000 for my daughter. So marrying off their girls is seen as a financial solution to secure the future of the family primarily, and possibly the girls themselves. If they can afford you now, they can afford you later, go live in the big house, and we’ll upgrade soon as you move out.

 

Ashley Sanders  24:07  

Ugh, my god.

 

John Newport  24:09  

It’s also a way of investing in the son’s education. So they’ll sell off his sister, so the son can go to college and then take care of the family.

 

Ashley Sanders  24:19  

Imagine the emotional turmoil. I can’t imagine because I don’t want to. But if you just imagine with me, the concept that your education doesn’t matter because your body is property, but your brother can grow up and be whatever the fuck he wants, simply because you guys are two different genders, not because you have shown a knack for being the brightest or you are really into men. You want to get married early, not because of anything other than the fact that he was born different than you. That is where I really think the fundamental disconnect comes in. For me, because it is so it not only is it unfair, but that It is so emotionally damaging to tell somebody, well, you were born this way. So you’re only worth $50,000. And not only are you not going to see a fucking dime of that, but we’re going to take that money, and we’re going to put your brother through whatever kind of school he wants.

 

John Newport  25:14  

Right? If you really want to know where this happens, there’s about nine to 10 countries with the highest child marriage rates worldwide. But overall, as far as globally, when child marriages go up, is during times of conflict and times of humanitarian crisis. They don’t have any other means, except for their families. So they’re going to marry off part of their family.

 

Ashley Sanders  25:41  

You know what I mean this wholeheartedly. I cannot stop what goes on in other countries? While it may be my business humanitarily. It’s not my business geographically. And so I think, when we talk about this concept of child brides, and we know for a fact that there’s American men who go over to different countries, and know that there’s times of war and turmoil and that these people are desperate for money, can we stop talking about that? Like, we should not tell Americans? Because apparently, we don’t want to fucking act?

 

John Newport  26:12  

No, we don’t. Unfortunately, we pride ourselves in being this great country that upholds all of these values. But underneath all of that, we allow people to travel to other countries for the purpose of having sex with a minor in another country. Only recently have we actually instituted some kind of rule, some kind of law where if you do that, we’re going to come after you. But we’re not stopping it within our own borders. We’ll stop it over there. But we’re not going to stop it here.

 

Ashley Sanders  26:44  

It’s insane. Yeah, well, because if we stop it here, then those states are going to start to go up in arms like, and you know what, I dare somebody to really go to Congress and be like, I’m pissed off because I can’t marry a fucking child. I would like to see that person.

 

John Newport  27:00  

Oh, yeah, I would love to see that hit the news. If any news organization wants a wildfire story, there’s a story for you. But I know when I was over in Iraq, during Iraqi Freedom one, and that entire government came crashing down, there were contract marriages that were taking place on the back streets. And there was nothing that we could do about it because that was an Iraqi law. But we can sit there, and we can watch it happen, where they go meet this priest or whatever their title was. And they would do a contract marriage for 24 hours, you are now married to that person for 24 hours, and then it’s over and done with automatic annulment. That man can do whatever he wanted with that child. There’s nothing we can do…

 

Ashley Sanders  27:46  

It’s heartbreaking.

 

John Newport  27:48  

Except watch it happen. And it’s still happening today. Okay, yes, let’s get back on topic.

 

Ashley Sanders  27:53  

Yeah, getting into another whole can of worms. Like, holy shit.

 

John Newport  27:55  

I’m about to jump into that. And we need to jump back out. Stay on topic. Okay, the negative consequences of child marriage this is where things really start to hit the ground. And you start to look at what happens when somebody is married. Too early, too young. And we’re not just talking. Okay, well, 18 that’s the number we’re gonna place on this. No, we’re talking. They are physically too young.

 

Ashley Sanders  28:24  

I’m gonna have a hard time getting through this because this is infuriating; as we go through this, and you’ll understand why this is so infuriating. But you also understand why this is so important. Because we’re gonna be covering this a whole bunch. This is one of these things that we feel as a platform; you need to hear it’s not even about your requests. And we appreciate the feedback. And we love when you guys write stuff back. But this is out of fucking control at this point. And while we can’t save the children, we can’t helicopter down into every roof of a child bride and grab them; we can make sure that you guys are aware because I’m going to just give you a warning. Before we get into this. It’s fucked up.

 

John Newport  29:04  

Yes. And some of you, you might have to have a strong stomach for this, because we’re looking at is girls who marry under the age of 15 are five times more likely to die during pregnancy and or childbirth than adult women. That’s roughly 70,000 adolescents die annually as a result of child marriage because they become pregnant, and the medical facilities, the medical treatments in order to save their life, and the life of the child that they’re giving birth to isn’t there. There are so many different complications that happen because of becoming pregnant at a extremely young age. This is not according to us. This is according to the World Health Organization.

 

Ashley Sanders  29:57  

It is unbelievable that these people see these children getting married at that young age. You see them getting married, whether you’re the fucking priest, whether you’re the witness, the judge, whoever the fuck whoever the fuck you are, you see a child. And we are literally talking about children and, you know, that a 12-year-old body can’t carry a baby. You know, a 13-year-old body can’t carry a baby. Granted, it’s not unheard of. But I can tell you, someone who was once a 13-year-old girl, fuck that.

 

John Newport  30:32  

The World Health Organization went out, and they looked at child brides. They looked at child grooms, and for child brides, for girls who were married and pregnant between the ages of 15 and 19. The complications of pregnancy and childbirth increased the risk of death for child mothers. And I can’t pronounce these medical terms that they included in this, but it’s debilitating.

 

Ashley Sanders  31:03  

Oh, it’s called an obstetric fistula. Now, a fistula is. I know what a fistula is because you can get them in your arms, too. I assume an obstetric one is something around your ovaries, or around your vaginal canal, or something like that. A fistula is like kind of a bump that doesn’t allow your muscles to flex or some shit like that. It’s very weird, but you can get them in your arms. So especially if we’re talking a less developed country, that definitely could kill you.

 

John Newport  31:30  

It could render the girls incontinent; it can result in death; it’s extreme high risk for the babies, within the first few weeks of life, just the amount of deaths that could have been prevented. Just the the amount of child brides who, during these marriages, especially if the child was forced or coerced, or somehow otherwise manipulated into the marriage, they can face sexual, physical, and emotional abuse, which is not uncommon. You just look at how many women who are in their 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s…

 

Ashley Sanders  32:10  

Right.

 

John Newport  32:11  

Who are sexually, physically, and emotionally abused in the marriage that they voluntarily elected go into because they love the person. And then that person flipped and turned into a total shitbag that in and of itself is a problem within the country and around the world. Now put this on a child who sees an adult as an authority figure. And now this person is your wife or your husband. Where do you turn? I mean, you go back; hey, mom! He’s your husband; you obey your husband.

 

Ashley Sanders  32:43  

Think about it, the kids who, like we say, they go over there, they collect the child, they marry him for a day or whatever legally, and then they swoop them back over there and then basically hit the block button on their family. These kids have, when we say nowhere to go, they don’t have any resources. They don’t know anybody. Some of them probably don’t even speak the fucking language. And they’re holed up in their house with some fucking abusive weirdo, who, even if they left, he could literally be like, I don’t fucking know this kid.

 

John Newport  33:11  

The amount of violence is two to three times as high for a person that was married under the age of 18. That is information from Internal Center for Research on Women. The life-threatening health effects that also plague the infants and children born out of marriages, the stillbirths, 50% higher than people who are over the age of 19 who have children. Now we’re starting to see the correlation. Why during the Protestant Reformation 21 was the legal age for becoming married. That’s why we had 21 before the end of World War Two because the amount of deaths significantly dropped. Now I’m not saying that our country needs to say, hey, 21 is the age at which you can be married. I’m just saying we need to do something to stop kids who were under the age of 18 from getting married or being coerced into marriage.

 

Ashley Sanders  34:10  

Exactly. That’s what I was gonna say. Being coerced, not necessarily, like I said, there’s people who were emancipated and grown, and they’re 17, and their boyfriend or girlfriend’s, you know, a year or two older and they want to get married. And that is their legal right because they’re technically an adult. All we’re simply saying is stop fucking kids.

 

John Newport  34:31  

That’s all we’re saying. Do not allow judges to allow kids as young as 12 to get married. I still don’t see how a judge somebody who in their right mind who has some kind of moral values can sit there behind the bench and look at this older person marrying a 12-year-old, whether they’re male or female, doesn’t matter and say, Yes, I condone this, slap the gavel says you are now married. You can kiss your bride or groom, I mean, what the fuck? Who in the right mind what kind of judge and then to allow them to keep the bench afterward. Trust me, if I heard about a judge in my area that did that, oh, I would be on a full-out campaign to have them removed from the bench and have them disbarred.

 

Ashley Sanders  35:20  

It’s sickening. It really is. It’s absolutely sickening. It’s just uncomfortable to even think that these people do; like you said, they stay on the bar, they keep signing these marriage certificates, they keep doing these things. And they keep saying, well, legally, technically, like, technically, and legally are not two words I want to hear when we talk about marrying children.

 

John Newport  35:40  

Right. And there’s additional consequences to this. Because when a child is married at that young age, not only is there other consequences for the individual, but they’re also societal costs, as well, both socially and economically, people who are married at a very young age, think about it, for those of you who were married and going to college, how difficult was that? Maintain a household going to work and going to school. Now put somebody who’s in the age group of either middle school or high school. How are they not only maintain a household and keep their spouse, quote-unquote, spouse, happy and go to school? Usually, that doesn’t happen. These increased obstacles, it impacts their lives for a lifetime. They start dropping out. They don’t get an education.

 

Ashley Sanders  36:37  

Yeah.

 

John Newport  36:38  

You go to apply for a job today in the United States. What do they ask for? Do you have a college degree? They’re not looking for your high school diploma. No, they’re looking for a degree. You want to flip burgers for us? Well, do you have a college degree?

 

Ashley Sanders  36:51  

Seriously, it’s not even a joke. And that’s not even, like, crazy to think about. But it’s become so competitive job markets become so competitive. And it’s really sad because these people then become dependent. And now they can’t leave. They’re stuck. And let’s hypothetically say the creepy old person they married dies; what are they going to do?

 

John Newport  37:12  

Yeah, hopefully, they had life insurance. And hopefully, they were put on it. I’ve seen people who have gone through multiple divorces, married multiple times, forgot to change his life insurance policy from his first wife to his fifth wife. But now we’re talking about a child bride. And the divorce rate is extremely high. Now we’re talking about somebody who has no education, or very limited education, cannot find a job. So they have no other recourse but to go on government subsistence, for the rest of their life, probably with a child, and they are just barely eking by for the rest of their life.

 

Ashley Sanders  37:57  

That’s stressful. The entire situation is stressful to think about. But the more I think about the dependence that is created on this person, the groom, or the wife, who’s the adult. And when we go through these, like I didn’t even think of the social, you know, the socio-economical ramifications. And as we go through this, it just gets worse and worse and worse.

 

John Newport  38:20  

Then there’s also because they were married at such an early age, they also have a problem of having a deep, meaningful relationship. It’s just a diminished way of having an intimate partner later on because of the trust value or the trust factors. And knowing what a healthy relationship looks like.

 

Ashley Sanders  38:44  

It’s so hard for me to even, like, get through this and think about these ideas; like you said, like, they don’t even understand the concept of what healthy is. So imagine if this person is removed for their life, or, let’s hypothetically say, CPS gets involved, how do they begin to heal?

 

John Newport  39:02  

It’s lifelong? It is literally lifelong.

 

Ashley Sanders  39:06  

Yeah.

 

John Newport  39:06  

Now, there was a study that was done. And they looked at what would happen if we eliminated child marriage. And their final conclusion, and this was done back in 2006. They looked at it, and it could potentially not only reduce the gender gap in education by half, so a lot of people, they talk about the earning income between men and women. Well, add in 200,000 child marriages that took place in this country, and 85% of that are female. And they don’t have the education because they were married before they were 18, and they dropped out of school. So they don’t have the education value to enter into those higher-earning job positions. You eliminate this, and that income gap automatically just kind of closes, it starts to reduce, there’s a solution for you.

 

Ashley Sanders  40:09  

Right.

 

John Newport  40:09  

But you also look at the larger economic impact the reduced female earnings that combined with extreme fertility and population growth consequences. The ripple effects go out, not just within our country, it goes out globally, and it becomes an intergenerational type thing. If child marriage ended, the global economy would, would have saved roughly $566 billion dollars.

 

Ashley Sanders  40:36  

Maybe that’s what we need to bring to them. Maybe that’s how we frame this to the world. Hey, would you guys like to save over half a trillion dollars? Let’s stop letting people marry children. And we have science data and everything to back it up. Maybe if we did that, if we talked about money, we could probably save a couple kids from a lifelong fucking trauma that is just unnecessary and unconscionable.

 

John Newport  41:01  

Now, let’s, let’s talk money. And let’s talk about how many lives we would save, about 70 million. Not only will you save 70 million lives, that’s 70 million people that actually enter the workforce, fully educated, able to contribute to the bottom line taxes that you guys like collecting. Oh, and by the way, will also save you 566 billion dollars. There you go.

 

Ashley Sanders  41:24  

Hey, you know those food stamps, we could probably get some people off of those too. You wouldn’t have to worry about supporting them.

 

John Newport  41:29  

Yeah. Hey, that all at section eight housing you keep paying for, hey, there you go.

 

Ashley Sanders  41:33  

You know prison inmates, you pay for me, and John won’t be two of them. So you don’t have to worry about that either.

 

John Newport  41:39  

So approximately 40 children are married each day. Forty children each day are married in the United States, 248,000 children. Those are the latest statistics that we have. And at least three states granted 12-year-old marriage licenses. Three states, I mean, I do not want to, I’ll tell you what, if where I’m living today is one of those states moving 30 miles to the west. I’m moving to another state.

 

Ashley Sanders  42:09  

I’m committed to that too. I’m looking up.

 

John Newport  42:11  

Fourteen states granted 13-year-old marriages; we just went from three to 14. A judge sat there across the bench and granted a marriage license to 13-year-olds; there were 14 judges. That’s 14 states. 14 judges sat across the bench and said, Yes, I will legalize this marriage. The fuck? And how that didn’t hit the news. News organizations are looking for content. They’re looking for juicy stories. How about this?

 

Ashley Sanders  42:40  

Right?

 

John Newport  42:41  

If I was the president of Fox, or CNN, or MSNBC, this would have been like prime news. Here’s the juicy story. 13-year-old married in this state, granted by this judge; why do you let this judge remain on the bench?

 

Ashley Sanders  42:58  

It’s just every time. I just every time I think about it, I get so angry. And quite frankly, when we read off the statistics, and we even if it’s, someone I’m sure one idiot, they’ll be like, well, that’s only 14 that’s 14 children being forced against their will. That’s 14 lives now that 14 lives can have a butterfly effect effect 200 other lives.

 

John Newport  43:22  

Let’s see 14 states plus three states that’s 17 Kids 12 and 13 years old 17 kids. What What the hell?

 

Ashley Sanders  43:31  

I don’t get it.

 

John Newport  43:32  

Now I mentioned the divorce rate 70 to 80% of marriages involving children, kids, end in divorce, child marriage, followed by divorce being child mothers who have no education, no work experience because they were dependent upon whoever they were married to. They have absolutely no hope of a financial life; their lifetime earnings will always add or below the minimum wage. 13 years old. How long are they going to remain in school? Especially if they they become pregnant at 15? Not very fucking long. 

 

Ashley Sanders  44:11  

How many of them actually go to school?

 

John Newport  44:13  

Right? What you’re 15, 16, 17 years old. You’ve been married for three years. Your prom is coming up. Oh, are you taking to prom? My husband. What? Just thinking about that. 

 

Ashley Sanders  44:26  

My 45-year-old husband, who’s like, literally a mouth breather?

 

John Newport  44:30  

Yeah. Who are you taking to homecoming? Or some other boy asked you can we go out? No, I can’t—ring on the finger, buddy. I don’t think they’re walking around announcing that they are married, especially when you’re 14 years old. What, what the hell? It that’s just weird to me.

 

Ashley Sanders  44:50  

It’s uncomfortable.

 

John Newport  44:52  

More than 50% of them are likely to drop out of high school and four times less likely to graduate from college. So there you go. And the health perspective of just the health perspective, higher rates of psychiatric disorders, physical, emotional, and verbal abuse are common. So there’s how they have this distrust, and they cannot have what we would reasonably call a normal relationship. Even as dysfunctional as a lot of normal relationships are, they will never experienced that because they have all the psychological damage, the domestic consequences themselves, this passes from the child bride, the child husband, to their kids. This is all they know. So this all they can show. Show me how you were loved. We will show you how you love. And that’s been a trend that we’ve been on for quite a while.

 

Ashley Sanders  45:46  

Yeah.

 

John Newport  45:47  

So there’s your intergenerational. Oh my gosh.

 

Ashley Sanders  45:50  

So as you can see, guys, child brides, and grooms have officially been defined for you; we’ve given you some statistics, we’ve given you everything you need to know. And what we’ve come to the conclusion of is that a completely destroys the life of a child for absolutely no reason.

 

John Newport  46:09  

Yeah. And we mentioned that there was one U.N. Charter that the United States failed to pass in 2010. No, I stand corrected. There were two. Yeah, these U.N. Conventions are like bedrock of many countries denouncing child marriage. And the United States is only one of three countries that haven’t even ratified the core of that. It’s called the CRC. We’re the only country in the Western Hemisphere, the only country in the Western Hemisphere that didn’t sign it. And there’s another charter that we just didn’t even consider it. We nope, we’re not doing it. It’s a federal law banning child marriage. But in our state autonomy, it kind of makes it difficult to curtail.

 

John Newport  46:53  

Well, if you guys…

 

John Newport  47:05  

Last little bit, last thing, the two states that I mentioned earlier, that university banned child marriage, no exceptions. Delaware and New Jersey. Yeah, if you live in those two states, there are no exceptions. They have their minimum age. That’s it.

 

Ashley Sanders  47:08  

Fantastic. Congratulations to Delaware and New Jersey; you guys are not pieces of crap. The other 48 of you, we will be calling you individually to ream your ass out. And I have to say this is just one of the most exhausting things we’ve ever talked about. Because it’s so much to think about, it’s such a grand scheme of things kind of thing. And I’m not sure why this is going on or why we even have this issue. But I know we do. And we are going to do whatever we can to make sure that all the awareness is getting out.

 

John Newport  47:41  

Yes. Now we do have a breakdown of all 50 states. Well, I’m gonna say 48 because we already know two states that they are like, yeah, we’re not putting up with this shit. We’re not doing it. But the other 46 states and some of our territories, we have a full breakdown of the laws that they have enacted, to kind of, eh, sort of say, okay, this is the legal age. And here are the exceptions. I was actually not totally pleased. But it’s a step in the right direction. The state that I live in, they allowed down to 16. But as far as the older person, they can be no older than three years older. So 16 and 19, they’ll allow that but 16 and 20. Nope, they’re going to have to wait until they reach legal age.

 

Ashley Sanders  48:34  

Well, that’s great.

 

John Newport  48:36  

We have a full breakdown of all 50 states and the outlying territories.

 

Ashley Sanders  48:40  

Yeah, no, that’s awesome. Um, yeah, make sure you go check out all 50 states, your you live, if you live in a city-state, make sure you call, and you write your Congress, people you do whatever you have to do send a letter, just make sure that you’re doing something, especially if you don’t agree with it. Make sure that you like, rate, share, subscribe, tell everybody. But make sure you’re sharing this episode out because this is one of the more important episodes that we’ve ever done. And we need people to understand the severity that is child marriage. So it when you guys get some time after you listen to this, make sure you’re sharing it out, make sure you’re telling people make sure you’re sharing the link that we share out as well. So people can see around what their state law is with child marriage.

 

John Newport  49:21  

Yes. And we have other articles, where we’ve gathered this information from so that you can go out and you can read the stories and the research yourself. We’re not making this stuff up. This is coming from other organizations. And this is all they do. They look out for children and some of them. Child marriage is the only thing that they concentrate on, help and support those organizations. Because this is if it doesn’t happen worldwide, at least we can shut it down in our country. And if you live over in England or Germany, France, Kenya, some of the others countries that listen to our show. Shut it down in your country. Do not allow this. The ramifications are tremendous. Okay? My head hurts

 

Ashley Sanders  50:09  

Mine too.

 

John Newport  50:09  

So, with that, we will talk to you on the next one.

 

Dani States  50:14  

That’s all for this episode of the Girls Ask Guy Show, where all of us learn to master this thing called life together. For more answers to your questions on life and love. Be sure to subscribe to the show, so you don’t miss a single episode. And head to Girls Ask Guys Show dot com to submit your questions for a future episode. Or apply to be a guest on the show. Good luck out there. And we’ll catch you next time right here on the Girls Ask Guys Show.

 

You May Also Like…

Child Marriage In The U.S.

Six per thousand minors in the United States have been married between 2000 and 2015 according to a 2018 study....

0 Comments

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *