Have you ever met someone you couldn’t easily forget? Is there a way for you to figure out how to be unforgettable when you meet that special someone? The correct answer is yes. There are some brilliant ways to enhance that sweet moment with meaningful acts that you can do.
The Girls Ask Guys show is going to show you several ways to be one of those memorable people to those you meet. No, you don’t need to be one of those psychopathic baddies with jumper cables. You just need an open mind and a desire for a happy life. You don’t even need good networking skills. We have a clever attraction hack that could be a game-changer to your mental schema.
Let’s get into this.
How To Be Unforgettable
We meet people on an almost daily basis. How many of those people do you actually remember? Will many of them do you know beyond just their name? How many of them would remember you on a deeper level beyond just a conversation topic?
To better illustrate we are going to borrow lessons from the business world. Why business? Because it is a great role model for creating meaningful substance in a short period of time. In short, the best salesman.
In business, you can not be remembered if no one sees you. Businesses spend a ton of time and money on branding, marketing, and advertising. When the brand Apple is mentioned, what do you think of? What would someone think if your name was mentioned? In order to be successful at dating, you need to learn how to be unforgettable.
Be Known For The Right Reasons
You don’t want to be known for just anything. Much like a business has a clear message, you need to have one as well. Those who know how to be unforgettable for the right reasons have the best kind of life. Their lives are more full, rich, and satisfying. The best part is that they also see very fast professional advancement. This is a side effect of leaving a lasting positive impression.
If you have been studying this stuff for a while you can forget personal value propositions. Also, forget all the idiosyncratic non-sense to force others to take notice of you. That stuff comes off as trying too hard and fake. The guiding principle here is to be the real thing and creating an extra moment in a positive manner.
Step One – What Do You Want To Be Remembered For
This is the biggest blunder people make. When we ask this question we get vague answers like “being myself” or “everything.” These are not answers on how to be unforgettable. If you don’t know who you are then how can other people remember you?
Would you rather be remembered as “Oh yeah, they’re such a nice person.” Or as “He spent 20 minutes showing me how to block spammers on my social media. Is he here?” Which one shows a strong memory? Which encounter had a real purpose and great service to the person?
Having a clear message increases your chances that someone will remember you. Choose a trait that you want to be known for. Build that trait make it the central theme you show the whole world. You can show other traits as well. Those traits should follow in a supporting role of your central trait. We have some help on traits if you need to take a look at our lists. There is also an episode on this if you want to listen to that. We also have a course you might want to preregister for.
Step Two – Get Over Yourself
Seems harsh. The reason we put this at number one is that we work with so many people who have too many concerns about failure. They are on a hamster wheel to eliminate odds of failure to maximize success. They end up not doing anything because they feel like they are not ready. Things are not perfect yet. They will sponsor the team, but they won’t play the game. Here’s a special surprise for you. There will never be a perfect right moment.
You need to watch for that great authentic moment to be one of those memorable people. To do that you need to accept your faults. Your life is not a perfect cover photo. Go out there and make mistakes. People who are willing to try and flat lines at the attempt are a rare breed. While failing a memorable person makes an interesting move of failing with grace and humility.
Being able to show they have been outdone by the better person is extremely rare.
Step Three – Start Doing
As mentioned we see a lot of people who sponsor the parade, but they don’t participate. People don’t really remember what you say. They remember what you do. The best remedy to be remembered is to get out there and do something.
You could get into a great conversation over plot holes of the last blockbuster movie. That isn’t going to make for excellent memories. Why? They probably had a similar conversation with ten other people. They had an interesting time with some great guests. You, however, are not an interesting variable in their mental schema. You were just a good listener among many others.
The good news is that you show them better things. Do something with them to create a good picture in their mind. Any small thing that can enhance their lifestyle, even for a little while, can put you in the great beyond.
Be authentically generous. This is the lifeblood of relationship-building. Be generous without any expectations of a return. Find out what a person’s need is, then find a solution to that need. This is one of the best ways to be unforgettable in a self-interested world.
People Don’t Remember
Stanford Professor and Chief Science Officer at Corporate Visions Dr. Carmen Simon is a cognitive neuroscientist. She is at the forefront of studying things being memorable. She explains that most people forget 90% of their daily experiences within 48 hours. They only remember what they consider the most important 10%. What this is really saying is that people forget their lives just as fast as they live them.
It’s All About Memories
The brain chooses what it wants to remember. The brain moves towards things that it likes. When there is something it doesn’t like, it moves away. Everything the brain does has a memory involved. Your brain remembers that hot things burn. There is a memory of touching something hot for the first time. You are therefore careful around hot things. You hear a familiar song, and you instantly remember a distinct time in your life.
Be Familiar, But Not Too Familiar
Our minds like familiar patterns. We like to know what to expect when going somewhere or do something. You go to a particular store because you know what’s there and where things are located. You have a mental template. What happens when you walk in and the layout has changed? They messed with your mental model. Based on memories you could predict how long it would take to get in, buy a pizza, and get out. Now you don’t even know where they are.
You want familiarity so people know what to expect from you. Step one we mentioned above. People are comfortable with what is familiar. It also helps them build a mental model of their cover photo of you. You also want to build in a bit of surprise. Too much familiarity can cause boredom and people stop paying attention. People like surprises because they learn something. The gap between what is expected and what happened in reality. This can trigger pleasurable neurochemicals to be released into the body. It’s like a stand-up comedian delivering an unexpected punch line. You remember the joke.
Be familiar, but not so familiar that you come off as boring. Too much surprise and you end up being tiring or weird. The important thing is to strike the right balance to be memorable.
Step Four – Build Intrigue
Building curiosity can be an art form in itself. Ever watch a movie trailer and said “I’ve gotta see that movie?” That’s intrigue. You want to slightly stand out from the crowd. A person who stands out too much can create a negative memory. You want to be just slightly above everyone else. How do you do that?
People hate being deprived of information. Let’s say you start a story and get halfway through and stop. The people who are curious almost have a primal urge to find out the rest of the story. It’s like the cliff hanger at the end of a television show. You tune in to the next episode to find out what happens.
The flip side is that if you give away too much information at one time you will not get the curiosity effect. The best predictor of when you have done this is when people start asking questions. This shows they are willing to pay close attention to you to get a deep understanding of who you are. The more you know yourself, the more you will know how to be unforgettable to someone else.
Some of the most successful leaders out there have amazing capabilities to develop high-quality content on the spot. They are skillful in how they share story elements of their lives with others. It’s like having a real-time competitive edge over everyone else in the room. All the while they are still being authentic with everyone.
You can learn from these role models. You can see how they have fun with the details they share. They know how much to give to make it interesting. They give people only part of what the person wants then sit back to see how people respond. When the intrigue piques they give the rest and share in the experience.
When you hear us mentioning being a bit mysterious, building intrigue is what we are talking about.
Building intrigue doesn’t mean being fake. It just means sharing your best self in specific ways. Being your authentic self is the most precious singular gift you can give. Being around someone who is authentic you feel more real. There is a feeling of connection when you are in their presence. You are almost drawn to them.
You have to be willing to share your true self with others. The thing to remember here is that not all vulnerability is equal. Some people will use this to manipulate others. They will open up to be seen in a certain way such as getting sympathy or winning approval. This is known as strategic vulnerability. You have probably used it answering “what’s your biggest flaw” questions in a job interview.
Trying to do strategic vulnerability may get you remembered. But, it may not be for the right reasons. Here’s an important lesson. Your flaws can either haunt you or connect you. Be authentic with your own vulnerability.
Don’t be so serious all the time. A person who can make fun of themselves and their shortcomings is seen as less likely to judge or be critical of others. This creates a lasting impression. When someone shares their vulnerability authentically is like saying “I know love can hurt, but I’m going for it anyway.”
It’s not as hard as you might think. It’s not a technique, your looks, or assets. Those things, at most, might play a small role. Looking at how to be unforgettable takes looking at the total package. There is no one simple phrase or signature item that acts as a single best predictor. You have to have real positive influences to create a memorable moment. Show your best version of you with a compelling story that includes cute quirks. Help someone be a successful individual by showing a strong spirit state of mind.
- Build a deep intimate connection through sharing little things that bring emotional pleasure.
- Know what trait you want to be remembered for. Define specific details, it helps.
- Get over yourself. Be a specific person with human resilience who can fail gracefully.
- Stop watching and start doing. The most unforgettable partners have a certain electricity. They do something beyond just interpersonal support. They have a tremendous effect on a small event.
- Build Intrigue. The greatest pleasure enhancer in the body is the human brain. The whole purpose of it is to learn and survive. Part of that is seeking out interpersonal connectedness. Give just enough specific details to pique curiosity before giving the rest of the story.