Online Dating

Girls Ask Guys Show Podcast
Girls Ask Guys Show Podcast

Hosts:

John Newport and Ashley Sanders

Guests

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Transscript:

Dani States 0:01
Let’s be honest, there’s no guidebook when it comes to relationships. So we end up having to stumble through life trying to figure things out for ourselves. What if there was a podcast that found the answers for you that provided insight to build a successful relationship and ultimately find that companionship you’ve always hoped for? Welcome to the girls asked guy show where we answer the questions most people are afraid to ask. When it comes to lessons in life and love. It’s time to master this thing called life together with your hosts, john and Ashley.

Ashley Sanders 0:36
And Welcome back, everybody to the girls ask guys show your Guide to Dating, relationships, hurricane season, life, love and everything in between,

John Newport 0:46
We’ll just toss in hurricanes, tsunamis, and whatever else the rest of the world calls them, yeah. We’re going to cover all kinds of things, and we’ve got more new stuff coming at you. And we’re gonna be getting to all that stuff. later on in the show, we want to jump right into dating apps, and how these things are messing with your life. Not kidding, these things are actually carrying over into everyday life.

Ashley Sanders 1:16
It’s the phenomenon that is the internet. So eventually, it was gonna move to this point. Like we started with social media, people talking to each other people getting to know or reconnecting with each other. So the natural progression is people are gonna start dating online. And in the beginning, it was a little more rough, because you had like those ads, you had no video, it was early on my day, those video dating ads,

John Newport 1:37
if we step back into the 1940s, this was like the dating party lines. Now we have like video chat and everything else. But people are looking at trying to connect with somebody else on an app on your phone. I don’t think a lot of people use their desktop for it. But I guess they could

Ashley Sanders 1:57
Siting on Bumble, on your desktop.

John Newport 2:01
You can’t even upload a picture to Instagram from your desktop, you have to go to your phone to do it. And it’s just swipe left, swipe right. And hopefully we make a connection somehow. But there was an actual research that was done. And amazingly enough, eHarmony is the one that funded the research. This is done by Monash University, it found that dating apps are now the most common method, single people use to meet each other. And with COVID restrictions that were out there, they became wildly popular. Tinder itself was reporting that they had over 3 billion swipes a day.

Ashley Sanders 2:45
That’s insane. That is an insane amount of swipes. And that’s what half No, it’s almost three-quarters of the population.

John Newport 2:55
What, we have 6 billion people on the planet. So half of people on the planet were swiped.

Ashley Sanders 3:01
And some of us were only swiped the wrong way. But I’m not going to talk about that.

John Newport 3:04
That’s even if you popped up in those searches.

Ashley Sanders 3:07
Yeah, right. When you think about it, I mean, the amount of time people spend especially I think as you get older and you’re, you’re single, and you’re looking for someone, online dating is just easier. And it’s very shallow in its idea, but you start to read their profile, you start to kind of look at their pictures, and then you like them. And then you get to get into this conversation. That is always completely awkward. The first message is always weird.

John Newport 3:32
If you don’t know what you’re doing. But the thing that I found really interesting about this research study that was done is that a lot of users, they come to expect what’s on the app to happen in real life. But person sitting across me? Um, yeah. They’re not what I want. So I’m just want to bitch slap’em with my left hand,

Ashley Sanders 3:55
Basically.

John Newport 3:57
But people are treating people in real life, how they treat them online. And it’s because that sense of anonymity. Well, quasi anonymity, because you have your profile photos up there so they can kind of see who you look like. But they don’t know your name they have this little screen handle this thing going on there. And yeah, I’ve read some of those. And oh my gosh, yeah.

Ashley Sanders 4:21
Oh, dude, one day, we should just go through ridiculous dating app BIOS, and handles because when you start online dating, you don’t realize how weird The world is. until you start reading screen names. And about me’s on a dating website. People are strange.

John Newport 4:38
Yeah, there was one that I came across. It was just, I was just doing cursory research. And this guy was on Tinder. He had this. I don’t know how much Photoshop he did to that photo, but it was obviously Photoshop. His handle was “a big dick.”

Ashley Sanders 4:57
Just putting it right out there.

John Newport 4:59
Yeah, just putting it right out there. I mean, yeah, people, if you do your research, it really doesn’t matter. It doesn’t. All you have to do is really go to your local bookstore or library, go to the romance section, and then read the love scenes. I’m telling you, right now, if you look at how many women view actual porn, like guys are thinking, we’re doing Pornhub what is that other site?

Ashley Sanders 5:30
I’m not gonna sit here and name off a bunch of porn sites, you’re not gonna. You’re not gonna crucify me, buddy. You’re not catching me on this one.

John Newport 5:40
But that’s where guys go. Most women go and they read. It’s all literature. And when you read it, there’s no mention of size people.

Ashley Sanders 5:50
Dude, erotic fantasy novels are so fucking popular among women. I didn’t even realize that they were that. And one of my cousins used to live with me, and she would read them. And so I picked one up and I was like, This is intense. I kept reading.

John Newport 6:08
Well, I mean, it gets into the whole emotional side of it. Everything else that’s taking place, other than the plunging action. That’s what guys go for but, dude, if you want to get into women’s porn, go read a romance novel.

Ashley Sanders 6:24
That’s stuff sexy. Okay, like, I think it’s more men read erotic novels. They would be better lovers,

John Newport 6:31
Their online profiles would be a hell of a lot better. I’ll tell you that.

Ashley Sanders 6:34
Yeah, less big dick and more like big heart or something.

John Newport 6:37
Yeah. But we’ve kind of got way off topic on that one.

Ashley Sanders 6:41
What else does the article say?

John Newport 6:42
Well, the research that they had, because the screen constantly mediates your sense of urgency. It actually makes a lot of people because you are behind a screen. It makes a lot of people braver and bolder. So they’re going to do stuff there that doesn’t carry over into real life. So the other person when they meet them, they’re not getting what they thought they were getting. Because Mr. brave and bold, all of a sudden, is now a little cream puff.

Ashley Sanders 7:13
Right? Like, oh, he’s got a picture of him holding like, Conor McGregor’s belt, right, and you meet him, and he’s just like, SpongeBob, squarepants, or something. And it’s very true, like, people put their ideal selves on their online profiles, not necessarily who you are. But I think most of the time, it’s who you want to be. And so you want to live that fantasy through your online life. And then when you meet that person, you’re like, well, that’s not quite me. But kind of.

John Newport 7:39
Or they totally reverse the roll. And they’re asking someone for either a date or a hook up behind the protection of the screen, because it’s a lot less scary. They say, No, swipe next. Now in real life, they say no, well, you got to actually take the punch.

Ashley Sanders 7:58
Yeah, you got to do that thing that we all have to do, where you kind of just casually walk away like, this is embarrassing for me.

John Newport 8:04
Yeah. I asked the girl out today, well I actually asked her out Friday, to go out on Wednesday. And she wasn’t sure of what her schedule was. So I knew there was a 50/50 chance when I approached her today that it was gonna be a yes or no, she can’t make it. Okay. Not a big deal. Talk to you next Wednesday, because I’m off for the next few days.

Ashley Sanders 8:25
Yeah.

John Newport 8:26
It’s no big deal. Rejection happens.

Ashley Sanders 8:27
And I think a lot of people aren’t trained to take rejection. We’re not trained, but even taught to take rejection. And like you said, online, it’s a lot easier, because you can just block person and pretend like it never happened.

John Newport 8:39
Yeah. Because really, all they’re doing is they’re indulging your ego. Because if they don’t want to drop everything right now and come over to your apartment for whatever you’ve got set up, or they’re just like, I don’t, no, fuck it. I’m out here. Swipe next. This girl that I had asked out, I can tell that by her body language and her tone of voice that she felt bad for not being able to make it on Wednesday. “So I was like, Hey, don’t worry about shit happens. Life gets in the way. We’ll try again later.” She’s like, okay. I didn’t want her to feel bad for having to, like, tell me no, but at the same time, I was kind of hoping for Yes, but I took the punch. She felt bad. It really doesn’t affect me.

Ashley Sanders 9:24
Yeah. And the beauty is, like you said, we’ll try again. It’s okay.

John Newport 9:28
I’m not needy. I don’t need her to fill a void. So it’s no big deal.

Ashley Sanders 9:34
What other things? How else do dating apps ruin your life? According to this?

John Newport 9:39
Oh, geez. This thing, this whole thing it keeps on going. These dating apps are actually using a lot of technology that was learned from the gaming industry. Think casinos, flashing lights, bells, whistles, and a reward. All you got to do is keep playing. You’ll get the reward. If you keep playing,

Ashley Sanders 10:01
Yeah. That’s very cool. I’ve never thought about like that. But that is spot on a slot machine. It’s just kind of you can walk away. But most people have the innate desire to be loved. So when they do things like that, to me it teeters on manipulation.

John Newport 10:17
And if you have this idea that oh, well, they aren’t exactly what I’m looking for. Maybe the next one will. Swipe. Nope, that one’s even worse. Swipe. So you’ve always got grass is greener on the other side? This one? Oh, they don’t like Fast and Furious. Fuck them. I want to find somebody that likes that movie. And keep swiping to find one.

Ashley Sanders 10:41
Yeah. And it’s very difficult, I would say to navigate?

John Newport 10:44
Well, it’s not so much difficult. It’s just this mentality that the absolute perfect person is one swipe away. And with that mentality, then you go and try that going out to the clubs. This is why everybody’s saying, there’s nobody in my city. I live in an area with what is it? 63,000 people now? Let’s make that 31,000 are female? There’s not one perfect woman out 31,000 people, I can’t at least get somewhat really, really damn close?

Ashley Sanders 11:18
Right next door, john, you just got to knock.

John Newport 11:21
Go to a city with 6 million people. That’s 3 million. And you’re telling me there’s not one out of that 3 million people that are not for you. You may not get the 10. But you can get the 8.8. Come on.

Ashley Sanders 11:36
Hell. Listen. Most of the time, I think my best relationships have never been with a 10.

John Newport 11:40
There’s only one person that is my 10. And that’s not gonna work. I met her. I know her. I was her photographer for a while. She is my perfect 10 unless she has an exact twin with the exact same growing up everything. I’ll get a 9.9. But I won’t get a 10. There can only be one 10.

Ashley Sanders 12:02
Yeah, no, I’ve had one 10. But it was intense to think that this person was really beautiful. Like when I say 10 I mean, as far as looks. So I think a lot of people when we do the swiping,

John Newport 12:12
This was the entire package. This was looks, the mentality, I mean. She had all the traits, everything. I was like, oh my gosh. But it wouldn’t work because she was going out with somebody at that time. And I was going out. So we kept crossing paths. One of us was always, always going out with somebody else. And then I moved. But I’ve met a lot of very fabulous women. But hold on to that one 10 because she’s the one that I compare everybody else to.

Ashley Sanders 12:41
Right.

John Newport 12:42
It’s unfair to say but yes, I do that.

Ashley Sanders 12:44
No, yes, fair, but glossing over. Like you said, you live in a small city, you basically live in Mayberry, compared to where I live, because it’s humongous. And the proximity thing is insane. Because literally, when I’m swiping it’s probably way different. You probably get the same people over and over and over.

John Newport 13:03
Yep.

Ashley Sanders 13:04
I could log in every day for two hours and never see the same person.

John Newport 13:09
I did an experiment with some dating apps. And yeah, it was like every two or three days, I would get the same people. And the same people. There was one day, there was a repeat of everybody that I had rejected earlier. I was like, why are these coming back as my top recommendation? What the fuck?

Ashley Sanders 13:29
See, that’s another part of the psychological manipulation to me, because it’s kind of like, oh, why don’t you just go with this person? You keep saying no, by the way? But you obviously haven’t found anybody else. So you might as well just try this person.

John Newport 13:42
Well, you start thinking, Oh, well, maybe, maybe. Then you start justifying, and then you start saying, I said, I do not want that. But they recommended it. You see the two or three times you’re like, well, maybe I should rethink that and take that off. Even though it was hard no.

Ashley Sanders 13:42
Exactly, and you start to compromise your beliefs and all that stuff, just because of repetition. And that is, I think that’s a very strong point where it indicates that dating apps are not necessarily the healthiest way to meet people.

John Newport 14:14
And then it gets even worse, because now you have this new thing that has hit. And it kind of jarred me but I was like, I can actually see this because of all the other stuff that we’ve recently talked about. And this is called “rejection violence.” They’re actually Sub-Redits that go into this. And they talk about the nasty online dating encounters that they have had with these people that they decided to go out with or try date with. Oh, my gosh, some of these stories. You’re just like

Ashley Sanders 14:47
Horror stories.

John Newport 14:48
Yeah, you’re like, who thought of this Stephen King?

Ashley Sanders 14:52
And you read these horror stories. And you think to yourself, why the hell do I keep going back to dating online?

John Newport 14:58
Yeah, everybody complains about it, but They keep going back to it.

Ashley Sanders 15:01
Exactly. Because whoever’s behind that screen, let’s say I swipe right on somebody, and I’m like, this is a beautiful person. I like the way they look. I like to profile. I meet them. Next thing I know I’m in a fucking basement. But we still trust. There’s an uncomfortable amount of trust that we’ve put into the internet, I think.

John Newport 15:17
Well, there’s the whole gamification thing where you get the message and you’ve matched and you’re getting the stars and the flashing screen. That’s all the stuff that they learned from slot machines. I work in a casino, I got about, oh, about 3000 of them surrounding me every single day. And I tune it out now so it doesn’t bother me. But my first couple days, there it was just loud.

Ashley Sanders 15:45
Now, how many jackpots Do you see a day?

John Newport 15:49
Myself personally, last night, I saw about 30.

Ashley Sanders 15:53
And how many people are in that casino?

John Newport 15:55
Our maximum capacity for that casino is about 6000 people.

Ashley Sanders 16:00
So that’s the basis of a dating app. 6000 people are swiping.

John Newport 16:05
Yep, and 30 of them are hitting the jackpot. But it’s all the lights and flashing bells, whistles and everything else and you got the alarm bells going off. And then you get everybody else’s chiming in and going, congratulations. It’s kind of like people going after likes on Facebook, when Facebook came out with the likes. That was the big thing. Everybody, how many likes Can I get? Well, how many matches Can I get today?

Ashley Sanders 16:30
Yeah. I’ve met people who just swipe and swipe and swipe right and swipe right. Don’t even look,

John Newport 16:36
There’s actually a hack for getting a match. Well, I can’t really go into it, because everybody will figure it out. Everybody will start using the hack, and no, not gonna do it. But I’m going to go into a pew research study that was done last year found that 1/3 of all the women using dating apps have been called some kind of abusive name, or ghosted, or some other kind of rejection violence type thing, where some guy came up and just wrecked her life on social media.

Ashley Sanders 17:13
Yeah, revenge porn is real.

John Newport 17:14
It wasn’t even revenge porn. It was this person just came up with all kinds of lies.

Ashley Sanders 17:19
Oh, wow.

John Newport 17:20
They met her, probably picked her up or met her someplace and then just got rejected, followed home, or found out where she lived, or something else like that. And pretty much just stalked and then just trashed her life on social media. This does happen to guys. But it’s mainly women that this is happening to and after coming across all the MGTOW stuff that we just finished up. Add that to this. Now, if you want to know why we preach, go out and meet somebody in real life. Here you go.

Ashley Sanders 17:54
Safety is the number one reason the number two reason is people are crazies, which goes along with safety. My top three reasons are all safety related.

John Newport 18:05
Really, I can’t trust the photos that you see. It’s not that they’re ugly women. Most of them are actually rather beautiful. But the photos taken from the wrong angle. What I’m missing? What? over 90%? Yeah.

Ashley Sanders 18:24
The rest of you. Crazy.

John Newport 18:25
Yeah, there is a proper way to take photos. And it’s from bottom up, not top down.

Ashley Sanders 18:31
Yeah, I think people do the opposite.

John Newport 18:33
They do a little top down duck face thing.

Ashley Sanders 18:37
Yeah, we do the angle.

John Newport 18:38
That’s actually a very submissive type of photo. If you hold it either straight in front of you or slightly lower, then you’re looking up. It’s a power thing. Look at all of your magazines. It’s all from low angle or straight on.

Ashley Sanders 18:53
Yeah. that’s true. Never thought about that. Power poses.

John Newport 18:57
Something I learned as a photographer. Another thing that I want to point out is that while a lot of people, they’re saying that they want to avoid online dating. We’re not saying totally avoided, if that’s your thing, do it. But we are saying is that there’s a lot of toxicity that going from the online dating world into real life, and it carries over into your work, carries over into your socialability, carries over to the cashier at your grocery store. It just erodes how you think.

Ashley Sanders 19:25
And I think one of the things is the Internet has worked its way into our lives to the point where I would wager to say most people are dependent on it. And we have given these online dating apps the power by saying, Hi, we’re human beings, we’re vulnerable. We want to fall in love. Can you please help us and they said, for 9.99 a month. And when you allow us to send you push notifications, every 10 minutes, we will tell you that we’re helping you.

John Newport 19:51
And your location so that we can show you 20 minutes later that you passed by somebody. The reason I’m saying that it carries over and eats at everything that you Do is because if you get used to being treated like trash online, then how you think of yourself carries over into, okay? Well, this person treats me like trash, and I get treated like trash over there. So this is how I expect to be treated now.

Ashley Sanders 20:15
Yeah. And you’ll allow yourself I think is, like you said earlier, people are more bold, and they sort of live the life they want to live online. Because people are more bold, that also means that vulnerable people are more vulnerable. So when they’re online, they’re pouring their heart out to their sleeve to some mild douchebag, who’s just trying to get in their pants. And it continues that cycle of, Hey, I was treated like shit, I deserve to be treated like shit. And what I would say is, if you’re one of those people who dates online, and is a vulnerable person, you should start to use that boldness of quasi anonymity, and establish a rapport that is based upon conversation. And if they try and violate that, you can say I’m done with this.

John Newport 21:00
Yeah, the whole thing is, you need to be consistent. If you want to find somebody that is actually worth something, then you need to uphold that. And if somebody is going to do this whole rejection violence thing, friggen report them.

Ashley Sanders 21:17
Yeah, I agree.

John Newport 21:17
Take a screenshot and send it “this is what this person is doing to me.”

Ashley Sanders 21:21
I agree, I agree wholeheartedly was reporting.

John Newport 21:24
Unfortunately, if they live close to you, so within the same city, check your local laws and report them to the cops. Let them deal with them. There was a case that was upheld not too long ago, there was a huge religious group. And the whole thing was based on intent. It was a whole sex thing. And the minister, the leader of the church, got, I mean, sex trafficking, all of it, the entire court case, and it was won because of intent. So in the United States, it’s now precedent.

Ashley Sanders 21:56
And if you see these red flags, there are other reason your report is because it’s not just for you, you’re saving yourself, or you’re saving other people too. Like, if someone’s being weird, and they’re participating in this rejection revenge, then you need to say something, it’s predatory. These people are predators. And the internet gives them that quasi anonymity to become and remain predators. So as soon as they start doing that crazy shit to you file a police report. That, to me, is the equivalent of harassment and stalking online, or stalking in person.

John Newport 22:27
So really, the whole thing is, you don’t want to sit there and put up with a lot of this stuff that’s happening. Online dating, if people hate this stuff, they constantly complain about it, but they keep going back to it. But do not lower your standards. If somebody is treating you bad, and that becomes your new normal, don’t put up with it, raise your standards, and just like, Nope, I’m not doing it.

Ashley Sanders 22:54
And also establish safe meeting places, because that’s like you said, people will meet you, and then they’ll get upset with you. And they’ll go and do some crazy shit online. But if you set up a place that has a safe meeting, that is distant enough from your house, you can at least protect yourself in that way. Now, we can never really stop online crazies. But the goal is to maximize the protection.

John Newport 23:18
Yeah, whether it is like what I do. I normally try to do things in the afternoons, like around lunch. I’ve actually moved that a little bit further back. I now do, not dinner. But like, say 4:30ish. That way, if it goes good, then we can actually go get something to eat. And I’m still gonna do the whole dinner thing. But we can have like more of a traditional type date. Yeah, it actually works out really well. Because a lot of people Oh, we’re doing the coffee lunch thing again? No, actually, we’re not I was thinking more like 430.

Ashley Sanders 23:51
Right? We can do, we can do like the end of the lunch rush. And then I would also caution people and say, before you go meet the person in person, now that we live in this, you know, technologically forced world, meet them on like zoom or something, or Snapchat or whatever, verify them as a person. Because if they’re not willing to be verified, it’s a red flag,

John Newport 24:12
And this whole online thing, it’s a lot of people, they feel bad about having somebody else make them feel bad, because they don’t find you attractive. Screw that. You don’t have to do that. Don’t indulge them.

Ashley Sanders 24:25
Right. Leave them. And when I say leave, I mean block.

John Newport 24:28
Yeah, you are not responsible for how somebody else feels. I can mention something to somebody and they can take it completely out of context and go off into left field. I’m supposed to feel responsible for how they feel because they took something wrong. I don’t want to because you smoke, or you drink, or you’re 4-20 positive or whatever. That’s why it has nothing to do with your looks. I just didn’t like your profile. Sorry.

Ashley Sanders 24:56
Right. And you are never under any obligation at any time to keep a conversation going with somebody. If you say this is where it ends, then that’s where it ends. And that goes for both men and women, goes for everybody. You do not have to talk to people just because they’re trying to make you feel bad. That’s manipulation.

John Newport 25:14
Yeah, they go into that extreme. neediness. It’s like, what was it, season one. When I came out with the idea of, here’s my puzzle, I have a missing piece, or are you that piece that completes my puzzle? Are you that piece? Are you that piece? Please tell me this piece. No, you should be complete before you even start. The more you like yourself, the more you love yourself, the less you are needy for somebody else to like you. And to validate you. I got another story I can go off on but I’m gonna skip it.

Ashley Sanders 25:48
No, feel free. I mean, I just think like you said, the puzzle piece thing, like you’ll start shaving off pieces and excusing pieces and letting it like forcing it to fit. And then you’re two years down the line, you know, like am I doing and it hurts, and you aren’t in a place to even start dating online to begin with. And then you do when you just make every exception in the world for a person. And it really does mess with you. So if you’re in a place where dating isn’t exactly what you need to do delete every dating app, because you are going to get into the worst relationships possible.

John Newport 26:22
The whole dating app thing. And if you just go on social media and just look around a little bit, you find this toxicity coming from both sides. And that has fallen over into Tinder, Bumble, RSVP, Match, eHarmony all these other places, it doesn’t matter. Because what people believe and this what they’re posting online, and then they take it into their dating lives. And oh, you’re nothing but a gold digger. Oh, well, all you want is sex and all this back and forth and misogynistic and feminist and all this other shit just falls into place. And this where they get to directly attack somebody. And that is what is happening.

Ashley Sanders 27:08
Yeah, man. It’s terrible. I mean, guys, be careful out there. And then aside from the screening process, and I think we talked what are we talking about? We talked about, you know, the revenge or the rejection, revenge, manipulation, the gamification of it all? Was there one more?

John Newport 27:22
Oh, geez, this thing it keeps going on? We got a no joke. I have collected so much research, we probably have a good three or four months worth of this stuff.

Ashley Sanders 27:34
Oh wow. I think I guess the overall message when it comes to online dating is be safe. Make sure you’re in the right headspace. And also make sure that you turn off those push notifications, because you’re allowing them to emotionally manipulate you and give you this opportunity to find the one when really all they want is for you to become a premium member.

John Newport 27:57
Yeah, let’s just be clear that the offensive language, disrespectful name, calling the ghosting and having others offload everything onto you is becoming very commonplace on dating apps. And that’s according to the Pew Research and the Monash University Research that eHarmony funded.

Ashley Sanders 28:17
Thank you. eHarmony.

John Newport 28:18
I don’t think eHarmony would have funded this thing if they knew the bad news that was gonna come out.

Ashley Sanders 28:24
Yeah really. It is really embarrassing. They’re like, we’re gonna prove to you why online dating is great. And we’re gonna fund this research. Here’s a research grant, and then they get their findings back. And they’re like, Can we get our money back?

John Newport 28:40
Yeah, wait a minute, you’re supposed to ignore that stuff. You’re supposed to say 50% of everybody gets married, when it’s actually more like 5% of everybody actually gets into a relationship. And those only last for two years. It’s more like five-percent, I think 11% actually get into a relationship, but it’s very short term, like a month, three months. And then if it’s a long term relationship, or a marriage, which is like 1.1%. And even out of that, it’s like a minuscule number that actually lasts. Like point zero one. Yeah, for this amazing thing that we call online dating,

Ashley Sanders 29:25
It is ruining your life.

John Newport 29:26
I can find something else to do with 43 bucks of my money.

Ashley Sanders 29:30
Right, dude, you might as well just like,

John Newport 29:32
I’m don’t even spend that much on dates.

Ashley Sanders 29:35
No, there’s absolutely no fucking way. I’m very terrible and frugal when it comes to first dates. And that’s simply because I’m not going to set a standard. That is unrealistic.

John Newport 29:45
I made that announcement in season one. Whatever you do for the first 90 days, is then expected from there on out.

Ashley Sanders 29:53
Yep. So we’re gonna go sneak some movie popcorn into this movie in your purse.

John Newport 29:58
I don’t even do a movie. My last three dates however much gas it cost me to get from my house to wherever we were meeting. That’s how much money I spent. I am not kidding.

Ashley Sanders 30:12
I believe you, that’s why I’m laughing so hard. Ma’am, you haven’t half a gallon left on this date. So I’m gonna need you to wrap it up.

John Newport 30:21
Yeah, we went to the mall. We played a-. We played a game there, then. Yeah, we walked around the parking lot. I intended to get to go to the,

Ashley Sanders 30:33
John said not my wallet bitch. We’re gonna press this emergency button and see who can find my car the fastest. It’s fucking hilarious.

John Newport 30:42
We were gonna go to the big park that we’ve got. And it sits right on the lake. I thought it’d be nice, but she just kind of kept going right. We needed to go left. So I was like, fine, we’ll go right. Well, we did like three laps around the mall.

Ashley Sanders 30:59
You know, it’s funny that some people or not even some people. Most people will be like, that’s such a fond memory. Even if you like let’s say it turned into something serious. That would be one of those things. That’s like a fun. You know what I mean?

John Newport 31:09
I’m still going out with her.

Ashley Sanders 31:10
Yeah, like, that’s fun.

John Newport 31:12
Then we cross the street finally. And we went to it was a home improvement store. They’re not paying us to advertise. I’m not mentioning their name. It’s a big box store. But we went there. And we’d like designed our entire house. We did the kitchen. We did the utility room. We did the flooring, the ceilings, we picked out the window treatments. We designed the bathroom. She wanted a big tub, with whirlpool.

Ashley Sanders 31:38
That is a terrifying date to me. I would freak out because I don’t care about anything. Like I’m so easygoing when it comes to decorating and shit. Even when I was a kid. My parents were like, oh, what color? Do you want to paint your room? I don’t fucking care. Just paint it.

John Newport 31:54
No, it’s actually kind of fun. Because not only did I see her taste, but I also saw that she was very practical. She’s like me she like stuff that is,

Ashley Sanders 32:02
Unique, but not expensive.

John Newport 32:03
Unique but elegant.

Ashley Sanders 32:05
Yeah, high class.

John Newport 32:06
It looks that way. But it doesn’t cost that much.

Ashley Sanders 32:09
I am so laid back about that shit I don’t care at all.

John Newport 32:11
Functionality. That was a big one.

Ashley Sanders 32:13
That’s the word. See? And you met her on online or in person?

John Newport 32:18
In person. Fuck online.

Ashley Sanders 32:19
See that? Fuck online. I like that. That’s our new motto. Fuck online. It’s actually a really cool shirt.

John Newport 32:24
What? 43 bucks. Damn.

Ashley Sanders 32:28
John’s like that’s two weeks worth of dating?

John Newport 32:30
No, that’s like a year’s worth of dating. But,

Ashley Sanders 32:36
John’s like, we’re going to the parking lot. Listen, I got something special planned for you. We’re gonna sit in my front yard today.

John Newport 32:47
Go to this store. Find row E. I’ll be in D.

Ashley Sanders 32:54
I’ll honk the horn. This is the date you’re gonna find me. And then you go to like a like a hardware store and you don’t buy anything. Awesome. And their like can I help you? Hell, no.

John Newport 33:07
Oh, yeah, they can help us cuz we just came off the huge dating show. So we got some money to spend. We just actually need to win it.

Ashley Sanders 33:16
I forgot forgot you actually to do that shit. So like, what’s your budget? Oh, we want about $100,000.

John Newport 33:23
Well, we actually got to finish wrapping up the show before we can spend any of it.

Ashley Sanders 33:26
Yeah, so we’re waiting for the reunion episode.

John Newport 33:31
Man, she ran with that. That was fucking awesome.

Ashley Sanders 33:34
I love that. That’s fun.

John Newport 33:36
Oh, she still talks about that.

Ashley Sanders 33:37
So online dating.

John Newport 33:39
Yeah. online dating fuck it. It’s a waste of money. It’s a waste of time. They rope you in and if you want to know more about this keep listening to the show because we got a shit ton of this stuff coming. We’re gonna rip online dating.

Ashley Sanders 33:52
Yeah, we’re gonna get you guys out and about. We’ll get you through it. Of course. As you guys know, we’re your hosts to guide you through life love dating relationships. And if you date john parking lots, which is fucking hilarious.

John Newport 34:02
I come well dressed though.

Ashley Sanders 34:05
Well dressed. I can see that. Like nice jeans like a blazer like some fucking Italian shoes and shit. Where are we gonna go? We’re already here. But always guys, don’t forget to like, rate, share, subscribe. Tell your mom tell friends or anyone you know, and you make sure that you keep listening. And then if I were you, I might pay attention to some announcements about a website but that’s just me.

John Newport 34:30
Yeah, we do have our website is now up and running. It’s underneath our new company name. I know Cupid. The podcast is not changing. That is staying the same. I know Cupid owns Girls Ask Guys Show. I know Cupid. Go there. We have tons of information. It’s gonna be ramping up really soon. You’re gonna get all kinds of stuff from us. It’s gonna be Facebook, Twitter, Instagram. It’s going to be everywhere.

Ashley Sanders 35:00
So hustle on down to I Know Cupid dot com and pay attention, make sure that you’re ready for any and everything that we’re going to throw at you. And then we’ll, you know, we’ll talk to you later.

John Newport 35:12
Stay tuned, because we got a lot more coming at you. And with that, we will talk to you on the next one.

Dani States 35:18
That’s all for this episode of the girls ask guy show where all of us learn to master this thing called life together. For more answers to your questions on life and love. Be sure to subscribe to the show so you don’t miss a single episode. and head to girls ask guys show.com to submit your questions for a future episode, or apply to be a guest on the show. Good luck out there. And we’ll catch you next time right here on the girls. Ask guys show.

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