There is no one thing that is the most important in a relationship. There is a lot that goes into building a relationship that can stand the test of time. A strange feeling or a misspoken word can turn into a battle of the egos. A small, almost trivial gesture can help build, and keep, a relationship growing. One such gesture would be a spontaneous compliment that sparks personal communication can enhance a relationship.

Small displays of curiosity and tenderness can have a more significant impact on a relationship than simply using active listening alone.  While some people say love is one of the most important things in a relationship. But, what happens when you enter that moment when you don’t love the other person with everything you have to offer? It seems like some people think that love will get you through anything. At least that is what your heart, and romance movies, tell you. So, what are those most important things in a relationship you should be looking at?


The other most important things in a relationship

Important things in a relationship

Trust is one of the more important factors a relationship can have. If you do not trust your partner the relationship will feel unstable. You, or both of you, will feel unstable as if the entire thing will come crashing down at any moment. Trust is built over time and comes with work. A healthy relationship that has trust allows your partner to have self-worth. This leads to the next part of important things in a relationship.

Respect in a relationship is another factor that affects many relationships. If you have ever been in a relationship and felt as though you were not respected, you can probably relate. The relationship did not go well. Without respect, the whole ordeal was short-lived, a real bumpy ride with more lows than highs. Respect in a relationship is not an option. Let’s make this quite simple by drawing a parallel. When you go buy a car you don’t ask if it comes with an engine, or if it is an upgrade. Respect in a relationship is a standard. You shouldn’t need to ask if you need to upgrade to a relationship that comes with respect.

I tend to harp on respect quite a bit because it is the most common response I get from women I talk to. The most common response from guys is chemistry. The next closest response is the connection, which is a near tie between both women and men. Many women will end a relationship early if they do not feel they are respected in a relationship. If a woman doesn’t feel she is respected, then the man will not feel the chemistry he seeking. Again, the relationship ends. One of the key elements to respect is a compromise.

Compromise in a relationship can be a double edge sword. If you always give in to the other person’s demands, you give up your voice in guiding the relationship. If only one person is taking and never gives in the relationship, the entire thing is doomed. For compromise to work, each person needs to give and take. When this is done, both people can feel respected and happy.

Happiness is another major factor in important things of a relationship. We all wish for that romantic movie life where everything is rainbows, chocolates, roses, and warm rays of sunshine. Unfortunately, life happens and unhappy times are going to happen. Arguments happen, stress happens, and life throws us a curveball. If you can work through these moments happiness returns. When unhappy times exceed the happy ones, it’s time to look at whether the relationship is worth staying in.

How to get a great relationship

So, how do we get those most important things in a relationship like trust, respect, and chemistry to build love?

Communication is possibly the most important thing in a relationship. However, it the hardest thing to establish. A relationship with bad communication causes misunderstandings, trust issues, and problems that can last for years. Communication is the key to defining boundaries in a relationship. It allows you to freely express your feelings, expectations, and feelings.

Communication is the one thing that solves conflicts and builds intimacy. Communication in a relationship allows each person’s values to be aligned and strengthened by the others. When this happens, trust is enhanced and becomes stronger. The question of loyalty and faithfulness becomes smaller. After all, you shouldn’t even be in a relationship if you don’t have the loyalty to stay faithful to your partner.

The problem today is that people don’t talk. This is one of the most important things in a relationship we neglect. We prefer to text, or post stuff on social media than talk to our partner. When are without a partner we are either looking at our phone, on the computer or watching television. We rarely communicate. When we do talk, we don’t express our true needs or feelings. Since guys don’t do this naturally, they tend to hint. If open communication wasn’t established early on, it seems weird, so women will tend to hint as well. It’s almost like we expect our partner to be some type of mind reader with ESP, and they simply just understand what we want or need.

This hinting eventually leads to expectations that remain unfulfilled because the other person does not know what it is you want. That then leads to you becoming unhappy in the relationship. When you are unhappy, intimacy fades and you wonder why you are even staying in the relationship. This leads us to the next part thing that is important in a relationship.

Being honest in a relationship can only happen if you have a firm foundation of open communication. Honesty also forms the basis for that thing called respect. You are able to listen to the other person’s opinions and thoughts, and accept their right to change their mind or to say no. Honest communication means you can talk things through and reach some kind of agreement. You are able to feel comfortable in letting the other person know how you feel. Being honest in your communication is one of the most important things in a relationship you can do.

Independence is another thing that communication allows a person to have. Just because we are in a relationship doesn’t mean we don’t have friends and family we want to stay in touch with. We need individual time and space once in a while. It’s great that some couples do everything together and can count on one hand the time spent apart. But, the majority of people need some independence. This goes with that trust and loyalty thing mentioned earlier. No one should have to deny their own identity. Demanding someone do so is not respecting who they are as a person.

Any relationship that is going to stand the test of time needs honest communication. As time passes discussions will have to take place over finances, social life, work, children, and every other major life-changing event that can take place. Without communication the relationship becomes unstable. You lose that feeling of being attached, protected, cared for, connected, and loved. The whole reason we sought out a relationship in the first place.

In order for a relationship to work, you have to want to be in a relationship. Then you have to commit to it. Once you commit, you then need to put in the work.

As a quick recap of the most important things I think are important in a relationship:

  • Trust
  • Respect
  • Compromise
  • Happiness
  • Loyalty
  • Honesty
  • Independence

And the thing that makes all of it possible

  • Communication